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Archive for May, 2010

May 24th

So you don’t know what caused us to be so far apart, do you not remember? You say we were close when i was young, how is it that i cannot recall this closeness? How can you not remember the pain and hurt and fear that you caused me? How could you forget what you did to me? I feel so torn. It hurts me that you can’t remember.

I am sorry Lord for the many times that i have sinned against you and forgotten about it. How i have hurt you!

May 29th

I began writing this on the 24th May and have been struggling all week with it as i felt angry after a recent conversation. How God works in our lives to heal us from past hurts is really quite amazing. But what a week – it took just one phonecall, one i would not normally have made but since God has been working on my heart i took a step in a new direction – that being one of reconciliation and healing of a relationship. The talk that followed brought about a confrontation of past hurts that had changed me and the way i interact with others. I found it too difficult to go into on the phone and very little was said but the invitation was there. After many tears and much prayer i decided to explain myself, my hurts and my new life in a letter – which i wrote, read through and then sent via email. Little did i know that this person was about to go through a traumatic experience at the same time that i was explaining how they had hurt me.

What have i done? I have just heard how weighed down they are with guilt over their traumatic experience and there is more for them to face when they open up the email. So i felt the need to warn them that maybe this wasn’t such a good time to open it. On the phone i could sense the pain and helplessness at what this person was having to deal with (bearing in mind that this is someone who hurt me so deeply that it impacted many other areas of my life). When had i started having feelings of compassion for them? Why was i finding myself praying earnestly for them? Why? Because God is working on my heart. Because God has forgiven me for all the hurt and wrongs that i have done and so i was able to choose to forgive this person despite the feelings of hurt that i have felt.

This is still on-going so i can’t say how it will turn out but my advice to anyone who has been hurt by another is choose to forgive them, and then allow God to gently heal those hurts.

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matt. 6:14 NIV)

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There is a time…

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV).

This is a time for suffering. No-one knows what goes on in the mind of others, no-one that is except God. We are told to pick up our cross daily:

“…If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23 NIV).

This means that we are going to suffer in our Christian walk.

Thankyou Jesus that you know what suffering is and that you are with me as i go through these trials. I praise you Lord that you have promised: ” Never will i leave you; never will i forsake you.” Forgive me Lord for my doubts and negative thoughts. Please teach me your ways and strengthen me to endure these testing times. Fill me anew with your Holy Spirit and walk with me, guiding me into all truth. May my heart be filled with love and adoration for you. I pray that my focus will remain on you my Lord. I trust that you are with me and will save me. Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts and your ways are higher than mine. I thank you Jesus that you were pierced for my transgressions, crushed for my iniquities; that the punishment that brought me peace was upon you and that by your wounds i am healed. All praise and glory be to you my Lord. Amen

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

In our times of suffering we ought to focus our attention on the cross and the suffering that Jesus endured for us. This isn’t easy to do when we ourselves are suffering but i will leave you with this passage to contemplate on. May God bless you in every way. Amen.

The Suffering and Glory of the Servant.

“See, my servant will act wisely; he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted. Just as there were many who were appalled at him – his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness – so will he sprinkle many nations, and kings will shut their mouths because of him. For what they were not told, they will see, and what they have not heard, they will understand.”

Praise be to God.

Amen.

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