Archive for March, 2010

Heal my heart!

The following is a dream i had last year – i usually write my dreams down if they are profound and have some spiritual significance. It is a good way to get some interpretation and gain insight on things that may be occuring in the present. I would welcome other people’s interpretations – it is good to see things from different perspectives.

There was a sense of familiarity about this dream towards the end of it.

‘In my dream there was something wrong with my left eye and it was covered over with a patch which had some sort of decoration on it. I was sat in a dim room (it was almost dark) and in my hands i was holding something that had just been given to me. It was a love-letter/poem from the past. But only part of it was visible. It was slowly being revealed because the wax that was covering it was coming away, showing just a small piece of the writing. It was as though the writing had been covered over with a red crayon/wax material. I was aware that i had been the one to conceal it years ago. As it was being revealed to me, i was filled with an overwhelming sadness of a love that i lost. The feeling was so strong that i woke up in tears’.

I reflected on the dream, aware of the person that had come to mind who i had once loved. To me i see this dream as part of a healing process that can now take place as i have no other distractions, being single. The love letter/poem represented my heart’s true feelings of love that had been buried for so long due to the pain surrounding the break-up. I found the feelings too strong to face all those years ago and these feelings were just as fresh in the dream as they had been back then.

It felt to me that God was beginning a healing process and helping me to look at a very painful memory that needs to be revealed bit by bit in order for me to move on. Prayer ministry has not been successful with this particular hurt.

There are a few points in the dream that i am finding difficult to interpret e.g. the patch over my eye (although a family member of mine has this disability). Could i be empathising with that person’s loss too? Could i be identifying with that person to some extent? With only part of the poem being uncovered could this be due to the blindness of this one eye – is there a link between the blindness and the unveiling of my heart? In time i am sure that the truth will be revealed.

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” (Psalm 51:6 NIV).

Praise God for his healing powers!



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Touched by you.


My Lord for the many ways you have touched me. You know that this is one of my primary love languages.  You blessed me with the indwelling of your Holy Spirit. I was reassured by your presence and comforted in times of doubt.

“Jesus replied, if anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” (John 14:23 NIV).

You overwhelmed me with your love as you poured into my heart your loving touch. When those times of trials came you prepared me with outpourings of your love.

Knowing my past hurts and my prejudiced heart you began healing me using those of your children who would be obedient and reach out in faith. You tenderly touched me reassuring me that you will never harm me and breaking down the wrong beliefs that i had carried around with me for so long.

“… but they did not realise it was i who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.” (Hosea 11:3b-4 NIV).

Knowing the very thoughts of my mind and the desires of my heart you reached out to me and laid your hand upon my shoulder, comforting my aching heart.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 NIV).

You teach me your ways and make my path clear that i may follow you obediently;

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105 NIV).

 and even when i don’t obey and i am stricken with grief and remorse, you fill me to overflowing with your amazing grace. You are merciful and forgiving and you hold nothing against me for you have separated my sins from me through the sacrifice and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. For your love is so great that …. no words can describe …

“A new command i give you: Love one another. As i have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34 NIV).

So i thank you my Lord and my God for the many ways that you have touched me and continue to do so. I praise you for who you are and for the demonstration of your love through Jesus Christ and i pray that you will use your children to reach out to the lost and touch them with your love.

“Love your neighbour as yourself. Love does no harm to its neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfilment of the law.” (Romans 13:9b-10 NIV).


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What is your experience of God? Have you ever experienced God? If  you have then maybe you will know where i am coming from when i speak of time standing still.  Actually i’m not sure if this is the right way to describe it because everything can still be moving and carrying on only it is a bit like being in slow motion. It’s like a clarity of mind that perceives everything at once – it’s awesome and i’m not accustomed to using such words usually but that’s the word that springs to mind when i think of the experiences i’ve had that seemed to stand still.

I have written of one such experience (a life changing one where i committed my self to the Lord Jesus) when i experienced the intense love of our Saviour. This can be found on the page ‘Meeting Jesus’. The following is an experience i had at a mission worship weekend away.

All weekend i had been hoping for something to move me. There were some great conferences on different ways of worshipping our Lord and i just LOVE to worship. Especially when it comes to singing and praying. So i enjoyed every moment of my stay there. However as the weekend was drawing to a close my heart began to sink. I had felt that something big was going to happen that would draw me closer to God and nothing had, that is, not in any great extent.

We (that’s the music group and i) went to the very last worship get-together of the weekend in the auditorium. It was even better than i expected. I sang my heart out (i just love singing to God). As i was singing one of my all-time favourites ‘Amazing God’, i became aware of the fact that i was concentrating more on the sound of my singing than on the one i was singing to, the Holy Spirit made me aware of this. At realising that my focus was not where it should be i turned my thoughts back to God and sang with all my heart with a great feeling of love and praise for him. At that very moment of shifting my attention back to him i was blessed with God’s amazing presence and as though all at once – i could see the whole auditorium – it was like looking through a magnified globe. This is difficult to explain but it was like i could see everything at once and i can only explain it as like an extreme heightened awareness of all that was around me without the noise and distractions and movement that come with it. Yes there was movement but it was slow and synchronised and there was noise but it was in harmony and unity. I suppose i could say it was a different perception – God’s perception maybe – of us all, as we worship together. The feeling i was left with was magnificent, truly. I was so filled with the Holy Spirit that i could not stop smiling. What a fantastic time i had.

“I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among throngs of people i will praise you.” (Psalm 35:18 NIV).

As i think back i wonder why it is that we don’t share such experiences with eachother. For me i find it much easier to put into words when writing. It’s more difficult to express myself in conversation, face-to-face, as i lack confidence. It would be really nice to hear about other people’s experiences of God. I personally have more to share and i will, in time. I just wanted to give you one example of the timeless element that has accompanied God’s presence, in my experience.

“… Never will i leave you; never will i forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV).

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To all you Christians out there that have been baptised in the Holy Spirit, you will know what i mean when i speak of conviction. How mixed the feelings – that sudden recognition that you’ve done something wrong, the feeling of guilt and yet the deep praise and adoration for God that he gives us insight into our desires of the heart – good and bad. I am filled with deep gratitude that the Holy Spirit should reveal such things to me. For me it is confirmation that i am loved. When i feel such conviction i am reminded of the following verses:
“…My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” (Hebrews 12:5-6 NIV).
Therefore i rejoice in these convictions because i am reminded that i am God’s child and that He loves me. So let us receive our discipline with joy and give praise to our Father who loves us!

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In the Silence.

Silence …..

How do you feel about the silence? What thoughts run through your head when all is quiet, very quiet? How do you react to those real quiet times? Do you try to fill the silence by turning on the t.v or radio? Is it a time when you feel the urge to put the kettle on, have a bite to eat, phone a friend or just make a noise in general?


Why are you trying to fill the silence? Does it scare you? Is there something about the silence that is frightening or that makes you feel really uncomfortable? Does it feel empty?

I could suggest that you use the quiet time to pray – but then would not your words be filling that silence? So what then would i suggest? Yes you should pray but not with words to fill the silence – LISTEN!

“Listen for i have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right.” (Proverbs 8:6 NIV)

Have you ever just sat in the silence and listened intently? I guess not, if it makes you feel so uncomfortable. But this is a place where you can do your searching and where you can confront your fears. This is a good place to start, when seeking God.

My advice to you today is to try to bear the silence and just listen. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings but don’t dwell on them, let them pass because this quiet time is set aside for you to listen to God. Do not grow impatient but wait for a time, patiently.

“….when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.” (Psalm 4:4 NIV)

It is a good thing to search for the truth that exists far beyond all of our knowledge. We are then humbled at the realisation of how tiny and insignificant we are and yet how gracious our God is that He would want to speak with us. How i long for you all to know His abounding love, truly i do. So again i urge you to seek and wait in the silence.

“I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore i will wait for him.’ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:24-26 NIV)

Do not fear for God loves you and he desires that you seek him. Persevere in your search and remember to listen!

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Hello to you all. 

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1 NIV)

we need to remind ourselves of this fact – we did not create the heavens and the earth – God did.  Which part of the heavens did you create?

“Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?” (Isaiah 40:12 NIV)

So why do so many people think so highly of themselves? We all live and then we die a physical death – how many of you out there actually ponder the real meaning of life and death? Do you really think that this is all there is? Do you care about the life you have been given? 

I ask you to think about this one thing to start with – have you actually searched for the answer to the meaning of life, to the point of exhausting all resources? 

Seek God and He will reveal these things to you for

 “This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it – the LORD is his name:” (Jeremiah 33:2 NIV)

 ‘Call to me and i will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know’ (Jeremiah 33:3 NIV).

So get searching and don’t give up until you find him – keep an open mind and heart as you seek the creator of the universe.

God Bless you all in your searching!


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